Face in the Mirror

I once watched a television program which featured former Super Models. These icons of the fashion industry graced the covers of countless magazines. Their images, made famous by advertising campaigns, were used to launch a myriad of consumer products. Whether they are admired or envied, these select few have garnered attention, fame and success simply by being born beautiful. They are deemed as superiors by the multitudes of plain and ordinary others.

Most would consider the gift of beauty as an absolute blessing but listening to the interviews of these gorgeous women made me realize that it may also prove to be a liability. So endowed with obvious advantages above the rest, the beautiful tend to develop a kind of dependence on their outward appearances. This inevitably leads to pain as the years will eventually and unavoidably take their toll.

One after the other, each celebrity on that particular show candidly described their individual struggles with aging. Accustomed to turning-heads, they find it quite difficult to accept that they no longer can fetch the same kind of attention to themselves. The spotlight has now shifted towards the younger and the prettier. It may seem to some, a cruel joke, to be surrounded by a light so blindingly bright only for it to be blown out and transformed into a dim grayness. The higher one has risen, the harder is the fall back down. Experiencing the fading of such glory, it is natural to feel a sense of mild depression.

Fortunate then are the awkward, tongue-tied, plain and unattractive. They, who are not by birthright “special”, learn to adapt, to adjust, and try harder. By necessity, they have to find out who they truly are, discover optional qualities and develop strengths other than their looks. Compensating for the lack of one trait, they shine in other aspects be it in skills, talents, and academics. In so doing, they are made richer for their efforts and rise above the level from which they first started.

Soon I will be marking an additional decade of my life I am forced to face the mirror and closely gaze at it.  Will the image reflected back at me be frowning due to the evident lines of aging, or will it be smiling, contented and happy for a life well lived?

Caped Alien

I recently watched the much-awaited movie Man of Steel and despite some of the negative reviews, loved it. Admittedly, I was pretty much convinced to watch the film after it was officially announced that the sought-after role of Superman will be given to British actor Henry Cavill. By far the sexiest of all superheroes, this guy was so sizzling hot in the new and improved version of the costume that his on-screen presence could practically melt the hearts of all his female audience!

More importantly though, I liked how this film's interpretation added depth into the main character by focusing on his vulnerabilities. I related to Clark Kent's struggles as a child labelled by his peers as "different". It hit a nerve in me as I watched him being taunted and bullied. I understood his frustrations for staying anonymous despite his urge to reveal his strength and react to his tormentors; I felt his pain of isolation from a world he loved but was alien to. 

Why do people treat each other with such hostility? They say, "To Err is to be Human" yet why are we so critical of one another? We encourage individuality, innovativeness and creativity yet often give those foreign to ourselves a difficult time. Immediately we pigeonhole them as strange, weird, odd or bizarre. We pass judgement without due process or a proper trial giving them little chance to prove themselves worthy of our welcome.

I have had my share of suffering as I've spent years in a land not mine. Foolishly I thought that as long as I spoke and perfectly understood the language, I had no need to worry. I was naive and believed that the love that brought me so far away from home was enough to keep me safe and happy. I was greatly mistaken. Prejudice still is very much alive and kicking in this supposedly developed world.

In the name of peace I kept mum about my feelings and played nice;  I tolerated the rudeness of snide comments hurled at me; I bore the weight of rejection and the coldness of hate. I endured it all in hopes that the passing of time would change things. I had prayed for the enlightenment of my enemies' minds and the softening of their hearts. I was willing to forgive them and start a new slate. I tried with all my might to be amiable and agreeable to them. But my efforts were fruitless. All was in vain.

Perhaps like Clark I will also have to wait before I am embraced and accepted by them who have labelled me an alien.  Impenetrable as he may be, Superman wasn't exempt from emotional wounding but somehow came out the victor. Maybe I too will. 

A Flightless Fairy

Never quite able to obey or conform to set rules, I have always considered myself somewhat odd. From the outside I look pretty normal but inside, I am far from it. I am like a kaleidoscope comprised of many little pieces, varied in shape, size and color. Depending on its angle, I change as I am rotated and thrust into various situations. Constantly evolving I even surprise myself with some of the choices that I make as I journey along the paths of life. My decisions in the past may not necessarily be the kind I would make in the present. Wiser, stronger and less fearful of judgement or even death, I am significantly different from the person that I was years ago. And I will yet transform into something more...

I am a fairy stuck in human form. I have wings that are bound so tightly it becomes invisible to naked eyes. For all decades of my existence I have kept this secret because I was afraid of ridicule, mockery, attack and isolation... I still am very much frightened. But in this spot I have found space enough to breathe and be me.

I am not ready for my true identity to be revealed and so I will for now remain nameless until which time I am confident that it is safe to come out. 

For those who by twist of fate find me here, I welcome you to travel with me along this passage towards the light. Witness through my writings the victories I make, the challenges I encounter, and share in the highs and lows of  my experiences. Perhaps in so doing, you too shall be inspired to come out of the rock from which you hide under. There is great beauty in each of us just waiting to surface from beneath the shadows.